Hey everyone welcome to a series on how to fail …! We are aware of how on a daily basis we are bombarded by endless beautifully curated images, stories of success and of things we should strive for, do or aspire to be…
We know that this constant message can get overwhelming and can sometimes lead us into a negative spiral of destructive thoughts, anxiety, comparison, of feeling not enough, where we magnify our failures and our “flaws” to our detriment. This can feel very isolating and even depressing. As a blogger and one who didn’t want to contribute to this narrative, I have realized lately I may have failed.
Although we have succeeded in lots of ways (if you’ve ever looked at our Instagram you’ll see it’s not exactly “pretty”) but it really does only show us “happy and on successful outings with the kids”. I guess that’s where I feel we’ve failed, and although I understand why we haven’t talked or written about this, because for instance when the shits hitting the fan no one wants to get the camera out and take photo evidence of that!😂📸 But like anyone we have days like this and “adventures” that totally were not a “success”! Mostly we have communicated this by not communicating this aka radio silence 👉classic!…
But I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts lately on failure, and how learning to fail ultimately helps you succeed. And so I’m going to lay out my recent biking adventure failure in which (naughty mum), I did take a photo of my kid crying after he fell off his bike. I guess I’d just like everyone to know that sometimes we get this outdoor malarkey with the kids wrong too, but we keep trying and sometimes we have great success! Always a good story at the very least! Here goes…
So apparently things have changed, the tables have been flipped as happens on this parenting journey. Normally it went like this 👉Hey kids today we are going surfing/mountain biking/bush walking etc so get your gear. And off we’d go. Sweet.
A few weekends ago my partner and I had it all planned out, he would pick up the kids (who’d stayed the night with the grandparents) and while he did that I’d get some food together and all of our warm biking gear etc and we’d go off for an awesome day mountain biking in the Redwoods= yippee! 🚲 I had everything ready when they got home, they literally just needed to hop in the car. Except my eldest son, who is 9 3/4 years old) did not want to go! Crap and what!? He wanted to go fishing!! Hmm… so we tried reasoning, nope, we tried pointing out that it was 3 against 1 and he’d just have to come, nope more tears, we tried saying he’d have to stay in the car while we went riding (an empty treat)…, he held fast, nope still not coming, damn! Called my bluff! In the end he went fishing while the two of us sat there wondering how to navigate this new situation! Then 💡 my partner had an idea, what about if instead of a long mountain bike ride we went to Summer hill MTB park and rode the dirt jumps? To which we received a loud and clear YES! Oh thank goodness! Apparently he had tired legs and just didn’t want to do a long ride, a short fun ride however was definitely doable. Hooray!! We got there in the end!
Here we are on our ride, a little later than planned but hey better late than never!😁
The story below is contributed by my friend Stacey. I too am so excited about the prospect of exploring NZ more and particularly doing some of our NZ Great walks without (dare I say it…tourists everywhere!) Love you, but I’m sure you understand what it’s like in your home land too!? Take it away Stacey…
One of the best things to come out of being “trapped” in New Zealand at the moment is being able to explore this beautiful country! Earlier this year my family of four took a trip around the breathtaking East Cape. It’s such a quiet part of the country and feels like taking a step back in time. Half way around the Cape lies the Mount Hikurangi, the highest non-volcanic mountain in the North Island and sacred to Ngati Porou.
My husband and I had done this hike 11 years prior and at the time a family with young children were also doing it so we said to ourselves one day when we have kids we’ll do this in them too.
The time had come, our family, including my 6 year old daughter Cecilia and 8 year old son Leo decided to hike up this mountain together! The track is a steady incline up a farm road with views out to the surrounding mountains and river below. At first my son seeing how high up the track went kicked up a fuss but with some coaxing he started the climb. We played lots of games and sang songs along the way to keep the kids distracted and had lots of snack breaks too.
We were so proud of our kids when we reached the hut, as it’s 10.5 km hike (it took us 4 1/2 hours) and 1000 m elevation! By luck we had the hut all to ourselves, I just wanted to rest when we arrived but the kids still had energy to burn and we spent a good hour, exploring around the hut.
As mentioned earlier Mt Hikurangi is sacred to the local tangata whenua and there is a circle of 9 Maori whakairo or carvings near the hut which represent Maui and Ngati Porou descendants. There are tours you can go on in which you would learn about the cultural significance of the mountain and they look fascinating! Check out their website here👉 Maunga Hikurangi.
From the hut you can walk another 2-3 hours to the summit but it’s a challenging walk and not recommended for younger kids. Also we did get cellphone coverage at the hut, in case you need it. The first time we went in October it snowed at the hut so be prepared for any type of weather. When we asked the kids what there favorite part of their trip around the East Cape was they said hiking up Mount Hikurangi and staying at the hut and we had to agree!😊
For the Department of Conservation track details click👉 here.
So get out there, now is a GREAT time explore this wonderful country we get to call home.
By Stacey Walden
Kids in trees
Endless cups of tea…
Biking in the middle of the road
Lazy sunshine stretching out for days, weeks, then months…
Navigating the “new normal”
The joy of friendship, family and hairdressers
People are back on the road like the “old normal”…
Did we wake up to the changes we need to make?
Don’t fall asleep at the wheel
Mother earth rolls her eyes and sighs…
Like a child we make mistakes over & over
Takeaways consume our brains
Yet we are given the gift of this day
I feel a nostalgia for the stillness of lock-down…
Stand in the breeze
Listen to trees
Life is a miracle.
Lock-down reflection by Tammy
What will you do with your one wild & precious life?
Tomorrow in New Zealand it’s mothers day, I remind my family all week so they know it’s important to me! 😂 In my family it’s not so much about gifts as making that person feel extra special and acknowledged for e.g. breakfast in bed, lots of cuddles, a handmade card and some flowers from the garden and no chores, and that’s just right if you ask me. 🥰
This celebration comes at the right time because if we ever needed a extra little special treatment and recognition it would be right now! And hey, if it’s not mother’s day in your neck of the woods 👉why not just claim ours tomorrow as your own- you deserve it!
To all the mamas, just know that you ARE doing great! We ALL have our good days and our bad days. We are all just doing our best, so let’s not be so hard on ourselves. Listen to your body more, she is wisdom. If you need to lie down for 20 minutes- DO IT! If you need to run a bath and read for a while – DO IT. If you have to put the TV on so you can have some time to look after yourself – DO IT. GUILT FREE. Find small ways to replenish and nourish yourself. Eat well and move.You deserve it. There actually isn’t a medal for worn out and exhausted mama… It’s OK to ask for help. In fact please do. Treat yourself kindly for you are very loved. I wish all the mamas out there the best day.❤
These are a few of my favorite things…
32 days, that’s how long I’ve been in my bubble with my little whanau and no doubt many of you reading this will be hitting similar milestones! On day one of self isolation I came up the genius😂 concept of an “ideas jar” which was a real hit. But gradually, over time its joyful contents were emptied and it sat empty and idle. We decided we required a different kind of outlet and so it was transformed into a “wish jar”. It now contains our wishes, little things that right now seem like big things due to them currently being beyond our reach … things like hanging out with mates, fishing off the wharf, going surfing, bush walking, staying in a hut, travelling somewhere new, getting a haircut and even buying new undies! All those things we took for granted as we flitted around in our busy, busy lives…
The past month has bought many gifts to me and my family (& I hope to you and yours). The biggest has been time, really good quality time and I’m so grateful for that. Of course like anyone we have had our ups and downs (its not all 🌈& 🦄) and like many I have felt worried & anxious, I’ve felt the vastness of uncertainty and have had family affected overseas by this terrible virus.
But here living as presently as possible, I feel my family and I have embraced this new slow pace of life positively, we have experimented with our creativity, fallen back in step with nature, talked to old neighbours, met new neighbours, exercised, star gazed, backyard camped, read, baked cookies, we have rested, played together, phoned friends, gardened, tackled niggly jobs, nourished our bodies and have been reminded how little we actually need to be content.
During this down time I’ve enjoyed looking back at some old photographs and memories. The ones below capture some of the things that make me happy and some that I’m looking forward to doing again soon x
What are you looking forward to? Love to hear your thoughts x
Kia kaha, we got this👊 Stay well, stay home.
After looking through some of my posts from the last couple of years, I came across one about hiking off the Christmas food coma. And well I think it’s safe to say that once we are allowed out, then I will definitely have some extra lockdown/COVID-19 pounds to deal to (well those and some study ones too 🤦♀️).
My family has quite a few birthdays in April, and even though we can’t be together in person doesn’t mean we have held back on the celebrations 🤣 🥂 and all thanks to the internet and modern technology we can be face to face in other ways.
So lately during this COVID-19 lockdown, I have started to reflect on what is really important – anyone else been doing this? Some questions I am continually asking myself are: What things/people/activities do I take for granted? and What of those can I not do without? How do I want to do things from now on? Do I really want to go back to doing the same things the same way? This led me to a to think about what I want to do post lockdown:
All these thing require more of one thing from me – Time. It is our most valuable resource and making a more conscious decision on how to use it …. that is where it is at for me going forward. It’s time to get ourselves into a position where the want for more/new/better things (therefore the want to make more money) doesn’t rule our life – Time over Money/Material gains.
What improvements/adjustments will you be making post-lockdown?
Keep up the good mahi Aotearoa 👍
If we look at the fact that ‘Energy Follows Focus’, we can appreciate how we might begin to create our own reality. What are you choosing to dwell on right now? Where are you putting your energy? This is where immersing ourselves in nature can be so helpful and important. Looking out to the sea at Precious Family Beach helps me to gain a bigger perspective than my smaller minded anxious world that has been consuming me during the past couple of hours. I ponder ‘what has changed for this vast abundance of life here right now ?’….nothing…except perhaps more flourishing. So I make an intention, to focus my own energy and attention, not about anticipation going back into front line healthcare if I am called, but on flourishing, and spending this time enjoying and being grateful for the immense life that we do have; Precious time, Precious nature.
Kia ora dear whanau. While mother earth takes a massive break and families around the world are self-isolating to protect each other & everyone around them, most of us have suddenly found ourselves with more of that elusive and valuable asset – time!
Approaching this pandemic with a positive attitude can be helpful, but I realize that this can be a difficult time on a practical level when we are all cooped up together, especially if you are trying to work or study from home. The thought of a whole month (😲+) has left some wondering how on earth they will get through the month of confinement without going stir crazy! Therefore I’ve made you a list of suggestions or ideas to get you started, because this is an opportunity to make this an overall joyful experience with our families.
👉START: I came up with the idea of an “idea jar” on day 1 and it’s been a total winner! I totally recommend starting here, selecting a piece of paper from the idea jar is the first thing the kids do upon waking. Here are some ideas for you or your jar.
P.s. I will highlight (*) the ideas where the kids can just do it themselves (it will depend on your kids age but most will work for 4+ years) – then you can get on with a little work or just have a break!!😊☕
Please tag forestfamilynz on instagram and facebook to share your marvelous creations!
🌿🌲🍂Not all classrooms have 4 walls. Have fun, slow down, be present, sit in the sunshine, practice gratitude, be kind & love.🥰✌
I wasn’t going to write a post this week. I’ve gone back to studying this year and for the last month I haven’t really had the time to go out and do much adventuring. So as uninspiring as that is, I got to thinking …. nothing much is ok and should be given as much value as all other things sometimes ☯️.
We put so much pressure on ourselves to do things, when actually doing nothing is really important. I know how important it is for my kids to be “bored” and how it helps to build creativity and resilience, so I guess the same goes for me right? At mindfulness the other night I had a realization (I tend to have at least one every time I practice, thanks Jane 🙏!) I distract myself from “boredom” (aka time & space) with things like… food, wine, Facebook, Netflix and yes even adventures! It got me thinking – are my thoughts that bad? Are they not worth making the time to sit with?
Making time to practice mindfulness allows me the space to think about “the why?” Why do I do the things I do? Why do I feel the way I feel? It’s about learning to recognize what I’m thinking and then not passing judgement on it , or myself.
It was great just to come to that realization and acknowledge it. But also to acknowledge that sometimes its ok to want the distraction. We need to be kind to ourselves – the things we do and the things we feel are all OK 👌.
It is a strange time at the moment with us all being in “lock-down”, but I’m actually feeling pretty optimistic and positive about how things are going to be on the other side – with more people getting back to basics, living in a more local way and putting the environment before economics.
I’m not saying giving ourselves time and space is always easy or that the next month is going to be without challenges but maybe with a bit of time, compassion and thoughtfulness we can come out the other end stronger and healthier and more connected.
So enjoy doing nothing much and remember you can still smile with your eyes 👀 when your mouth is covered 😷.
Nga mihi, Anita ✌️🥜🌿
Make sure you check out our facebook page – Tammy has been picking up my slack and putting out some pretty rad posts for us all during these testing times.
On New Years day I went on a hike with a group of friends including the charming Leah. During our walk she told me about her recent experience doing her first triathlon. It was such a cool story I asked her if she wouldn’t mind sharing more about that experience and happily for us she agreed!😊
In December 2019, you did your first triathlon. What made you decide to give it a go?
Leah: I started to do regular exercise last winter (2019), I built my running up slowly to 3 km and then to 5 km runs. I started thinking… I’m keen to try something I have never done before! Around the same time I was introduced to mindfulness and I started becoming aware more of my thought patterns.
How did mindfulness influence you in the decision to give triathlon a go?
Before practicing mindfulness I had a lot of negative self talk, lot’s of reasons why I shouldn’t try something new, a lot of excuses too. But as I started to learn more about mindfulness and about noticing my (often self-limiting/negative thoughts) I decided to challenge them, and the idea of doing a triathlon took place!
That’s such a positive step! How did the triathlon go? What did you enjoy and what was hard?
The ocean swim was SO hard, because the waves were really big!!! The swim section was held at the Mt Maunganui main beach. I literally just stood there on the beach looking at the waves wondering how on earth I was even going to begin while watching the other competitors run into the ocean. My little girls who are 6 & 8 years old were standing on the beach watching me and they were crying because they were worried about me. As I stood there I thought about all the months of training I had done leading up to the event, I also wanted to show my girls that I am a strong and to be a good role model to them, to try even when it’s very hard or seems impossible! I thought I have to try! That was when a serendipitous moment occurred and I met Gene👼. Gene is a volunteer lifesaver from the Mt Maunganui Surf lifesaving club.
Gene asked if I’d like his help (yes!) and helped calm my nerves by talking to me, helping me to see a way that would make it possible for me to give it a go. He gave me his surf lifesaving board so I could lie on it and paddle, while he swam next to me- supporting and encouraging me throughout the whole swim.
His support and that of the other volunteers on the course was what kept me going. Thanks so much Gene 😊especially, but also to all the other volunteers on the day!
What I loved…I really loved the bike section, that was really enjoyable, and the run, although it was hard at the beginning it was also pretty good too (everything was easy compared to the swim!) My goal was to finish, get the medal and I did that so I am proud of myself for giving it a go and now I have ticked ✅that new thing off my list!
That’s an amazing! What a huge challenge that you overcame, you should be very proud of yourself! You mentioned you have a list of things you want to try, what else is on your list?
Later this year I intend to visit my family in Japan, where I am from and while I’m there it is my goal to climb Mt Fuji in Japan. It takes between 5-7 hrs to reach the summit and I want to be up there to see the sunrise! There are huts you can stay at on the way up. Another thing I’d like to do is walk the Tongariro Crossing to celebrate my 38th Birthday later this year. I’m also researching trail running events… and I’ve recently started learning the piano via YouTube!
That’s very inspiring! Do you think you will do another triathlon?
Yes, but not in the open ocean!
What advice do you have for someone considering doing a triathlon for the first time?
Once you set the goal, do what ever training you can fit in. Show up for yourself, but at the same time don’t overthink it, just do it!
😀Thanks so much for sharing Leah! Can’t wait to hear about hiking up Mt Fuiji!